#19: 2 Books I'm Reading On Child's Brain To Raise Smarter and Emotionally Strong Kids

Hi,

I'm happy you want to invest in your brain. That's a smart choice. As always, I've got 4 Brain Nutrients for you:

• One Short Article: 2 Books I'm Reading On Child's Brain To Raise Smarter and Emotionally Strong Kids

• Two Quotes.

• One Neuroscience Fact: Only 0.00005% Brain Cells Produce Dopamine.

Enjoy!

One Short Article: Key Takeaways From 2 Amazing Books.

Last year, I fell in love with neuroscience.

The human brain fascinates me. And as a father, I find a child's brain even more intriguing. So I study the young human brain. As a result, I can understand my daughter better and become a better father.

Currently, I'm going through 2 excellent books. And I've gathered exciting takeaways.

The Genius In All Of Us by David Shenk. Link

Key Takeaways:

• Genes (inborn predispositions) play only a marginal role in what we call talent,

• Parents can create a supportive environment for kids to become great at what they do,

• True mastery requires time and deliberate practice,

• The more you talk to your child in the first 3 years, the smarter your child becomes!

The book explains the fundamentals of how to raise smart and resilient kids. As a parent, you can either inspire or demotivate your child. Here are the steps to achieve the former:

1. Believe.

Children don't try to prove their parents wrong.

If parents don't believe in their kids, nor do the kids believe in themselves. Encourage your kids to explore. If they like something, inspire them to engage more with it.

But don't force anything.

2. Support, Don't Smother.

Many parents choose "conditional love" to motivate their kids.

If the kid performs well and succeeds, parents show love. But if the kid doesn't have great results, parents are disappointed and withdrawn. Such kids may perform well at a young age to please parents. But it harms the relationships (conditional) and performance in the future.

Please, don't be one of those parents.

3. Pace and Persist.

Don't reward your kids for every little thing!

The most successful people mastered delaying gratification. They are persistent long-term thinkers. The longer they wait for a reward, the higher the payoff.

If you reward often and early, you foster instant gratification.

4. Embrace Failure.

There's no success without failure.

Don't praise the results. Praise the invested time and effort. If the results don't match the expectations, don't treat them as failures. At a young age, there are only lessons. Failures don't exist.

Help your kids reflect on their mistakes to avoid them in the future.

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Link

Key Takeaways:

• In a child's brain, the left and right brains are disintegrated. In emotional situations, kids can't think logically. Logical thinking in stressful situations develops later (around age 20),

• Parents can help build the balance between both brains. Only then can kids become socially, mentally, and emotionally stable.

• Don't give lessons when your child isn't calm!

A young brain is a learning machine.

But it's not good at managing emotions. The right and left brains don't play together. Quick reminder:

• the left brain is responsible for high-level (logical) thinking, planning, or decision-making,

• the right brain is responsible for emotions, automatic actions, or intuition.

But for kids in stressful situations, the right side dominates. Logical thinking is off.

The book teaches how to raise kids that are mentally and emotionally strong. It offers a guide to handling stressful situations:

• stay calm,

• show empathy. Name the kid's emotions. Show that you understand,

• help your kids name the emotions,

• then you can redirect to logic,

• find solutions together.

My personal experience proves this strategy.

My daughter is almost 3. When she's scared, she stops talking. She doesn't answer any open, logical questions, e.g., What are you afraid of? I need to name the right source of fear. Then, she says, "Yes!"

Otherwise, she remains silent.

Summary

Understanding a child's brain is my secret to becoming a better father. I hope you learned something new!

Two Quotes

• "Ideas breed other ideas." Gary Halbert, The Boron Letters.

• "With prolonged and repeated exposure to pleasurable stimuli, our capacity to tolerate pain decreases, and our threshold for experiencing pleasure increases." Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation.

One Neuroscience Fact: Only 0.00005% of brain cells produce dopamine.

Only 1 in 2 million brain cells generate dopamine. Yet, it has a massive impact on our lives!

Thanks for reading. See you next week.

Keep your brain in mind.

Kris

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